aurialle: (cartoon taeyang)
aurialle ([personal profile] aurialle) wrote2013-06-15 07:39 pm

(no subject)

Well... since I've determined that the main issue with telling my best friend about the whole genderless thing is that I can't do it all at one time, I might as well practice the rest of it here...

First, is the one thing that I sort of casually mentioned above and once on plurk, that I've managed to find a working label. I know to a lot of people 'genderless' and 'agender' mean the same thing, but... for some reason 'agender' doesn't work for me. Maybe it's because two things that have really given me more trouble than I need have started with a, and this makes me way more nervous to ever admit IRL than either of those, but that's off-topic...

Second, I would like to change my name when I get older. This is something I've been debating on and off for... pretty much my whole life (Emily actually became the most common 'girls' name the year I was born OTL), but figuring this out pretty much sealed it. For now, the name 'Casey' really appeals to me for some reason, but it might end up changing by the time I actually have the ability to do it. I'm probably not going to change my username though; I've just gotten way too attached to it (and it would be a pain in the ass to have to change everywhere, and figure out where I couldn't change it OTL).

Third, I really want to start looking more androgynous as soon as possible. Even without the genderless thing, it's always been a look that's appealed to me (kodona included, but I probably won't have much of that), and shorter hair is easier to manage anyway (really the only reason my hair is as long as it is now is because most of my acne is centered in my forehead and around my ears; by the time I'm closer to the ages most of you guys (assuming this is mostly going to be read by people I'm friends with on plurk) are now it'll probably be in a pixie cut). And this may wind up including occasional binding, especially since I've found a tutorial for a home-made one that seems really good (I just... need to get access to my sewing machine back (it's at my grandmother's house) and find somewhere where no one will ask me what I'm doing (or a Len wig; that would be a decent excuse, right?)). And... maybe eventually top surgery if I decide I feel more comfortable with how I look without boobs or I have to get one taken off anyway for some reason (but either one is probably not going to happen at least until I'm in my mid-20s (hopefully much longer for the second one)). But other than that I have no plans of ever transitioning (unless trying everything possible to safely remove all chance of me possibly getting pregnant counts, but that's something I've wanted to do for years because I really don't trust myself to have any part in raising a child, especially the whole 'before they're even born' part).

And... I think that's it? Or maybe I just put too much energy into that last part to actually remember what else I wanted to say OTL